Bow Down Before Your Leader

It's getting close to Easter and my soon to be one year old daughter needs an Easter dress. If you're married then you'll know that this is the perfect opportunity for my wife to spend our life savings on a dress that will get worn once.


We've already had an experience where we had to go through all the clothes she bought together and decide what to take back. I did most of the deciding. You see my wife has what she calls "an addiction to buying tiny clothes". She frequently goes off on her lunch break and buys bags of new clothes for our daughter. Luckily this is counter balanced perfectly with my addiction to "returning tiny clothes".


We had a rather funny experience Monday. She came home with a huge bag full of clothes and proudly exclaimed how she found an Easter dress. "How much did you spend", was my first response. "It was 30% off", was her response. Not a good sign. She pulls out three dresses from the bag and says, "I know you always want to take stuff back so I bought three and figured you could take two back and keep the one we like." Crafty Minx. You got to love her for trying. So we picked out the one we liked and put the other two back in the bag to be returned.


She then pulls out a couple of packs of hair bows and asks me which ones go best with the dress. "How much are those bows", was my reaction. "I don't know", was her response. First, let me make a side point that never in my 32 years of existance have I purchased something and not known how much I paid for it, not even a pack of gum. I checked the tags, $14 a pack. No way was I going to agree to keep $30 worth of bows. We argued back and forth for 10 minutes about how the bows were perfect for the dress, how they'd end up in the floorboard of her car, and how I could find bows just like them for $2, and how there was no way I could, and then we bet that I could/couldn't.


It was at that time that my lovely daughter came strolling through the living room with a long piece of white ribbon in her hand. "What is she playing with, where did she get that", I asked. "It's an old bow", my wife replied. I could hear in her voice that she was thinking "God damn it." CHECKMATE!


I threw the bows back in the bag, then it hit me. Her grandmother had already bought us an Easter dress. I brought that up and she denied remembering it. So we went to the closet and there it was, a perfectly good Easter dress, and I actually liked it better than the others. Can you double checkmate? Cause I just did.